2015 Re-post of 69 Ways to Lick the Spoon
In honor of the New Year, I’ve been asked to re-post this blog from 2013. It’s convenient because…while I haven’t blogged much in 2014, it’s partly because I’ve been busy with other writing.
Licking the Spoon is the title of my book in progress about food, sex and relationship. It’s also my metaphor for living life with gusto. This list is about finding balance between caring for others and caring for myself. It also means trying to reject ideas and behaviors that hold me back from feeling good about myself. I’ve re-read the list and think it’s still a pretty good one. Feel free to add to it with some of your own!
- Think about what’s really important to you in life.
- Spend more time doing #1.
- Think about who’s really important in your life.
- Spend more time hanging out with #3.
- Try to avoid as many things as possible that are not in #’s 1-4.
- Buy a good wine just for yourself.
- Have a glass of wine in front of a fire.
- Read a guilty pleasure book or a piece of fine literature in front of a fire.
- Relax and daydream in front of a fire.
- Take a walk in a pretty place.
- Go for a run in a pretty place.
- Ride a bike in a pretty place.
- Lift some weights and feel your strong muscles afterward.
- Do some crunches and feel your tight abs afterward.
- Do some lunges and feel your firm butt afterward.
- Sit and stretch in every way you can and then feel how loose and tall you feel afterward.
- Think about whether you get enough exercise on a daily basis and how you could find more time for exercise.
- Put on some soft music and hum along.
- Put on some loud music and sing out from your heart.
- Dance sensuously while you hum or energetically while you sing.
- Go to the grocery store and feel grateful for the bounty that is available to you.
- Pick out some of your favorite, most colorful fruits and vegetables.
- Cook a yummy healthy recipe for yourself.
- Serve yourself with a place setting and candles.
- Vow to eat fewer meals in front of the TV or computer.
- Vow to get rid of some of the junk in your cupboard and replace it with healthier choices.
- Throw out at least one junk food that is in your cupboard right now.
- Think about how you spent your holidays this year, and whether that is the way you want to spend your holidays next year.
- Think about what you could do throughout the year to add joy to your life.
- Consider learning a musical instrument, or going back to one you once knew.
- Consider taking a dance class, private dance lessons or just going out to some dance clubs.
- Think about growing a garden, large or small.
- Think about getting a pet, or spending more time with the pet(s) you have.
- Consider trying out a new gym or a new sport.
- Consider visiting a book club or a support group.
- Think about a group that could really use your help.
- Consider doing volunteer work with that group.
- Consider whether you are practicing your spirituality in the way you choose, and if not, vow to take a step in the direction that would please you most.
- Take a look at your finances and identify one way you could waste less money.
- Take back one thing you bought and don’t really need.
- Go through your closets and find unused items that you could donate to someone else.
- Identify something valuable you could give to someone you love that doesn’t involve spending money.
- Write a story, poem, letter, song or journal entry.
- Share your writing with someone.
- Forgive someone who’s hurt your feelings.
- Ask for forgiveness from someone whose feelings you hurt.
- Spend quality time with your child.
- Spend quality time with someone else’s child.
- Spend quality time with a child who doesn’t have someone else.
- Honor your body in as many ways as you can.
- Soak in a bubble bath (yes, even you guys).
- Rub lotion all over your skin (yes, even you guys).
- Get a mani-pedi, or mani-pedi yourself, and then admire your smooth, shiny nails.
- Buy yourself a piece of fine bedding.
- Snuggle in bed with your lover.
- Snuggle in bed with your pet.
- Snuggle in bed with yourself.
- Run your hands all over your body.
- Feel how soft your pubic hair is, or how curly your pubic hair is, or how smooth your pubic area is after you shave or wax.
- Feel the natural wetness of your vaginal lubrication or pre-cum.
- Smell or taste your sexual fluids.
- Vow to resist feeling squeamish about your sexual fluids, or celebrate the freedom of mind if you don’t feel squeamish now.
- Play with a favorite sex toy, or vow that you will at least visit a sex toy store.
- Think about your lover, or vow that you will do something new to try to find a lover.
- Think about what you will do with your lover the next time you see her/him, or what you would do with a new lover.
- Masturbate, and call it a nicer-sounding word than masturbate.
- Feel the power of your orgasm, or the sweet longing if you don’t orgasm.
- Think about whether you find enough time to pleasure your body, and whether busyness, guilt or shame play a role in not finding enough time.
- Vow to find enough time to pleasure your body, or to banish guilt and shame.
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I love this. I actually just did #27 (throw away one junk food in my cupboard), I threw away a bag of Hot Cheetos! What we eat has a huge impact on the way we feel. If we are constantly having a belly ache or headache, it would impact our day to day and relationships.
I have found that cleaning my house or bathing my dogs are also make me feel good about myself. When I relax in a clean (almost dog-hair free) environment, it just kicks start my day to a healthier and happier me (happier dogs too).
Something to try is to play some strip tease with your partner and even cuddle naked afterwards. I found it exciting and fun. It is a great way to be confident with your own body and be really comfortable with your partner’s.
This list is great. Wouldn’t be fun to try and do it everything on this list one day we have completely nothing to do? 🙂
That would sure make one full day, Alicia! 🙂 Thanks for reading.
I’ve been doing some of these things unknowingly until you pointed them out, but i have been doing #34 which is to try a new gym or sport. Me and a couple of friends have been playing tennis since last june.
Good for you! Keep going – try some more! 🙂
I done #23 for a while now. Everyday, well almost everyday, I workout for about two hours and then I eat this super healthy oatmeal that is full of natural protein to help build my muscles. I found the oatmeal recipe online when i wanted to spice up the traditional oatmeal that I always make. The oatmeal is full of fruits and other healthy ingredients.
Sounds good!
I love all these positive self-promoting (and promoting of others) ideas! Licking the spoon just proves how much you know you’re gonna miss your “meal” once you have taken the last bite. Enjoy it all and love it even till the end.
Yeah, enjoy that meal and hope for another one! 😉
What a list! great ideas to contribute to ourselfs for once. About a year ago I was dating this girl and well it did not turn out great, as a result I got real hurt with the actions that came about the unfolding of events. However, with time and some thinking I did #45 and since I’ve felt like a load of my back! hatred is too much of a burden to bear. As a result #’s10, 11, 12 become an everyday routine, more of the adventure to discover the world around me. Lastly #1, more than just think about life, I mean I’m 22 still a ways to go but, life can get stressful at times and it’s a great think to focus on the importance of life rather than question every step of it. “There is more to life than meets the eye” -Unknown.
I’m glad you are trying them out! There’s a lot to be said for staying in the now instead of always the past or future.
This is a very spectacular list of ideas! I actually did number 27 (Throw out at least one junk food that is in your cupboard right now.)
I decided to chose this one to comment on because every since i was small i would always eat hot Cheetos, I remember when i was younger I lived in Los Angeles and the ice cream would pass by my house and i would tell him to stop just so i can buy a bag of hot Cheetos, through out my teen years i kept eating them, throughout middle school, high school, and college.
In high school there was a girl that would take a big bag like a soccer bag and she would fill it up with a lot of junk food that she would sell, and everyday i would buy her a bag of hot Cheetos with a bag of cheez-itz to combine them together, what a delicious combination right? well i ate that everyday in school to the point where i would be full by the time that it was lunch already.
In college which i am attending now Mt. San Antonio College I still tend to eat hot Cheetos, the only difference is that i do not quite eat them like i used to because one day my mom mentioned to me about me having a cousin that loved eating hot Cheetos since she was younger too and because of them she had to get surgery since her stomach was sustaining so much Chile and that was bad for her. Ever since my mother mentioned to me my cousins story i have been quite spectacle about eating them often, This is why i chose to comment on this one, by the way i just threw away a bag of Hot Cheetos that my brother had, but i’m sure that he will thank me later since it will be better for his health! I wouldn’t want anybody to go threw a stomach surgery like this for eating to much Chile and Hot Cheetos.
Interesting story. The other bad thing about hot Cheetos and other chip-like foods is that they are high in calories and fat and have almost no nutritional value. Nuts, yogurt and fruit are healthier food choices! Thanks for sharing!
I really enjoyed reading your list about finding balance between caring for others and caring for yourself. I have applied some of the things listed in my life and I believe that is is so refreshing to be able to accomplish some of these goals. I have done certain things on the list such as #23 (cooking a yummy healthy recipe for yourself) and #27 (throw out at least one junk food that is in your cupboard right now). I spend a lot of time in the kitchen because I think it is very therapeutic. I enjoy cooking because it is stress relieving and I love trying new recipes. As I was reading through the list, I want to try to attempt # 32 next (think about growing a garden, large or smell)! I plan on starting off small with herbs and eventually growing vegetables and fruits so I can incorporate those foods into my recipes and home cooked meals! I really enjoyed this post and read!
I like your comment about the balance between self and others. And I’m so glad you enjoyed it and have found some things you’ve done as well as some you want to do!
This is the first article I read from your blog and it is very informative and to know about what’s important in life gave me an eye opener especially the first 5 points of licking the spoon where I think it is good to spend to people of importance to me. For me it’s always been my family that is so important and being with them give me happiness.
I’m glad you found something eye-opening in my post. Thanks for reading!
I love this I actually do #57 all the time I snuggle in bed alone and think about the future and give myself alone time. Also, I’ve did #23 by making vegetables soup and it’s yummy and healthy and I tend to do #45 by forgiving people who hurt me
You chose 3 good ones, especially the alone time, I think.
This is a wonderful list!
Thank you! Think you’ll try some? 🙂
One that would be on my list is laying under a tree and just exploring the world I’ve created inside my head.
Also is it wrong to not want to touch yourself in a sexual way? I honestly am very satisfied without it.
That’s a good one! And regarding your question, no, our sexuality is a very personal choice, and there is no right or wrong unless it involves forcing or harming someone.
I enjoyed reading this list! You point out things that can easily be done everyday… if only we realized to take time out of our busy lives to do them. We all eat dinner, so why not spruce it up with a nice table setting? Or choose to think about things that are going to better us rather then tear us down.
I think my favorite ones were 55-57. Snuggling is something that has the power to brighten anyone’s day. No matter if it’s in the morning when I wake up or right before bed, snuggling always makes me feel calm and relax.
Ahhh, snuggling – the healing power of touch!
This was an amazing list of things to do that are self-promoting. I will definitely try some of these things. I especially like # 26, 39, 40, and 45. I feel that I would struggle with #26 & #40 though, I love junk food and I love shopping, but I will try it for sure. 🙂
It’s really meant for you to pick and choose, and maybe challenge yourself a little bit! 🙂
I really like the list because it reminds people that this are all possible in life if we choose to. I just go and do whatever i can in my everyday life. This list reminds me that I can also do those and be happy.
Sometimes it’s the smallest things that make us happy!
I love this list! Many on here are the simple pleasures in life. I feel like everyone nowadays is so wrapped up with technology or their jobs that they’re practically robots! This list reminds me of simpler days and true happiness.
You’ve also inspired me to do something I’ve always wanted – take pole dancing classes! It looks so fun and is great exercise. Plus, I’d probably be able to use some of the moves in the bedroom (; Always a plus! Have you ever take pole classes?
I have not, but I have thought about it! I know a woman who does it, close to my age, and she says it is great exercise – as well as making her feel sexy!
This really is a wonderful list! However, it makes me sad that there are so many people that simply do not have the time or the money to be able to do some of these things. However, the most important aspects, such as spending time with people that matter to us, seeking forgiveness, giving forgiveness, are things that all people can do. Now that I think of it, a lot of these things require little time and no money. Thank you for the reminder about the simple joys in life,and how easy it is to enjoy our lives. People always tell us that buying great expensive things or achieving great tasks or gaining amazing careers will lead to purpose and fulfillment. Your post has reminded me of the simple things in life that will truly lead to fulfillment and, ultimately, happiness. 🙂
You’re absolutely right: The best things on the list are the simple joys. So easy to forget sometimes.
I love this list! One I would probably add is to have a weekend getaway by yourself. It’s so easy to get caught up in our day to day lives that we forget to make time for ourselves.
I like that too! For example, I have only camped alone a few times, but it was beautiful. Well, I had a cat and a dog with me. 🙂 Gotta have alone time.
You camped in the woods on your own!? I’d probably be terrified of that. But a weekend getaway on my own is something I would do.
I did, but I was in a campground. And I had my dog with me (plus a cat, but I don’t think she would have helped much).
I love #41 especially during cold seasons. We must always find time to give back to the less fortunate.
This is a perfect list. I find that my happiness comes from my spirituality. This gives me the strength to do everything else on the list. I believe that getting outside of myself by helping others is probably the most fulfilling. I do eat healthy and workout which makes me feel good, but the feeling you get when helping others is like nothing else.
Amazing article! Happy to see that some of the things I do are on this list, might start adding some of the others into my life 🙂
Good for you!
I always do #19 in the car! Haha. #34 is vey important! Working out really makes an impact on your day and life! It makes you feel so much better about yourself. Over all, all of those options seem very nice! People do not know what they are missing out on until they realize it.
It’s nice to get some new ideas about what we can be doing for ourselves.
I love this list! I just did #41 and need to work on #1 and 2!! That is the hard one but this year is the year to do it! Thanks for the great list! ❤️
Saying “this year is the year” is a great attitude!
This is very informative! I find myself not doing 1 and to as much as i should but will work on that! I find this year doing a lot of 19 and 20! Should do this every year!
I think it’s a good list to review every year and see how far you’ve come!
Crazy how I have done so many of these already. I love relaxing, getting in a bubble bath,cuddling, running in beautiful places, ect. Just reminds me to do it more often and even gave me some more ideas on how to improve my life.
There is so much out there for us to enjoy!
i love this! I actually printed this page because i need a change in my life and this will definitely help me out and i have a lot things i have to work on to in prove myself. thank you
Good for you for improving yourself! We all need some of that.
loving 57 and 58 ! seams like a lot of these I already do but this is a great list !
Pick it up from time to time and check in! Maybe add some of your own.
I found that #28 to be very interesting. #28.Think about how you spent your holidays this year, and whether that is the way you want to spend your holidays next year. I feel that this is a statement that people don’t pay much attention to. Spending holidays is a contributing factor as to how one can perceive the attraction of loving holidays vs. not loving them. I have met many people who absolutely love Christmas(like myself). I have also met many people who dislike Christmas and cant wait for the holiday to pass over. Usually the bad taste for Christmas tends to stem from ugly childhood experiences. However, every year can be spent traditional or non traditional, and so I believe its important for the soul to have a positive outlook on holidays.
I don’t like the holidays. But in my case, it’s not because of bad childhood experiences. It’s because the emphasis on spending money and looking like you have a ‘perfect’ life has grown exponentially since my childhood.
this is a very interesting list to consider. The way I see it, it’s more like enjoying the little things in life that can give us the greatest satisfaction. I would be really happy trying a few of the things in the list. It’s somewhat empowering. Specially when you get to achieve that goal you have. Also, I believe reflecting about your life, the past year, the past holiday, everything happening in your life, can make a huge difference in the way you see things. Because you get to notice the things you might have done wrong or the things you have done right and reflect on it. Not to change it, but to inform yourself to do it or to not do it again the next time which is simply making yourself a better person.
Good points! I use journal-writing for that purpose. Sometimes just musing about my happenings and thoughts. But I also love to make lists, so I use it to map out goals I want to achieve. And most important: lists (reminders) of things I’ve accomplished lately, because it’s so easy to focus on my failures.
I love this list! Very positive, life is to short to be unhappy. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that we do for ourself that keep us happy.
When we care for ourselves, just like when others care for us, it releases endorphins in the brain. We need those endorphins! Self-love!
Lynda,
This list reminded me of the numerous bucket lists, new year resolutions lists and whatever other lists I’ve ever made in regards to living life better. I think it is important to have goals and frequently re-evaluate ourselves. Not only does it help maintain sanity, but also gives us something to achieve and look forward to. As I got to the bottom of your list it made me smile. I feel like I’m one of the few in any friend group that I am in, who actually loves and promotes masturbation. Obviously I know I can’t be the only one who does and loves it, but women are so socialized into thinking it’s bad or shameful behavior, or even just flat out gross. It makes me sad when women don’t know or care to satisfy themselves. As I learn more about sexuality, I grow more passionate about pushing these boundaries and advocating for women across the board on how to fully be themselves and love doing so. Thank you for this reminder/note to self.
You’re welcome! And I love your healthy, progressive attitude toward masturbation. It really can be important for our health, to “keep the pipes flowing” (as one of my friends puts it 🙂 ), learn about our bodies and sexual response, and even delay aging.
Amazing article! Their all good things to do.
I’m glad you found some good ideas!
I hope you get to do as many as possible! 😉
All 69 of of your ideas listed are amazing ideas that we should all follow to live a better quality life. The ones that really stood out to me the most were numbers 3 and 4. We take life for granted a majority of the time. The ones you love could be here today but gone tomorrow. I feel like it is important to really have quality time with those we love. Thank you for you for these 69 steps.
You’re welcome! Here today, gone tomorrow is a good thing to remember.
Thank you so much Lynda for this blog, I was actually doing a couple of them while I was reading the list! #31 is my favorite I love dancing and I used to be on a dance team in high school, and I took two classes at Mt.Sac. such great stress breaker. (: This list reminds me of something similar to a breakup list that I read in a book called milk and honey by Rupi Kaur. This is so beautiful thank you, and I would like to add one, it would be pick a good herbal tea flavor, drink it and watch your favorite show of all time. (:
I’m glad you appreciated the list. And I like your addition! 😉
I honestly love this list. I will try my very best this summer to make this my checklist. I can’t wait for your book and question did you only list 69 things because of the 69 position?
When you’re making a list you need a number, and I thought 69 was as good a number as any! 😉 In other words, yes!
This is my favorite blog yet. Sometimes I struggle with positivity and by reading this blog every morning it will put my head into a happy, healthy, mindset.
Oh, I love hearing that!
Thank you for sharing this, I especially needed it right now since I am recently single and going through a tough break up, moving twice in 3 months, new job in the medical field, plus school stressors has not been easy but learning new ways and ideas of coping with all of these issues helps me more than you know. I am trying to teach myself that I do not have to spend money and try this “retail therapy” idea out because there are so many ways that I can achieve my own happiness that does not cost money.
I’m so glad this was helpful to you now! And it’s true that you don’t have to spend money for so many things. Good luck with all your changes!
You truly have a gift. This was such a refreshing reminder needed at the perfect time. I have been going through a lot and reading your list really helped open my eyes to the more “important” things in life. I especially loved, “Lift some weights and feel your strong muscles afterward.
Do some crunches and feel your tight abs afterward.
Do some lunges and feel your firm butt afterward.” AMEN to those! The small progression is always worth the long term gain! Thank you so much for sharing!
Lynda,
I never really thought of how self care or lack of self care I do for myself. I know normally everyone wants to change at the start of a new year but amazingly enough i’ve done a lot of what you posted. I am very much aware of what I need to do now. Thank you
Self care is so important, and often what people think of last. 🙁
I love this list. I found myself doing most of these things. For example, I love to snuggle with my boyfriend in his bed (#55). However, I need to start to do some exercise (#17). I always say, “I am going to do some exercise this week,” but I never start it. I need to discipline myself, lol.
I love this list. I have lately been lost in daydreams about how important #1-#4 are and how I wish I could fill all my time with those points. The list reminds me that we can’t forget to love and care for ourselves. It’s the little moments!
“Love and care for ourselves” – I love that! It would take a lot of time to do the whole list, but time well spent. 🙂